PFLAG is an organization of LGBTQ+ people, parents, families, and allies who work together to create an equitable and inclusive world. We are hundreds of thousands of people and hundreds of chapters from coast to coast who are leading with love to support families, educate allies, and advocate for just, equitable, and inclusive legislation and policies. Since our founding in 1973, PFLAG works every day to ensure LGBTQ+ people everywhere are safe, celebrated, empowered and loved. Learn more, find support, donate, and take action at PFLAG.org.
In Topeka and NE Kansas, LGBTQ + people and those who love them are served by PFLAG Topeka. Connect on the web at pflagnekansas.org.
Through our members located in all 50 states, and through our National Office in Washington, DC, we support one another, educate the public, and advocate for equality. http://www.pflag.org
Our Vision
An equitable, inclusive world where every LGBTQ+ person is safe, celebrated, empowered, and loved.
Our Mission
To create a caring, just, and affirming world for LGBTQ+ people and those who love them.
OUR STORIES
From Sonja and Leroy Feist
February 13, 2010
We have 3 sons, one is married and has given us three grandchildren, one is heterosexual and single, and our youngest son, David, is gay. He graduated from KU with a degree in Human Biology, and then graduated from Baker University with a degree in Nursing. He works as an emergency room nurse in Bethesda, Maryland. David is very caring and I often thought about the wonderful girl I thought he would marry some day and the children he would have. I knew he would be a wonderful Dad. I was soon to learn that these were my fantasies, not his.
In December 1998 he came home from Dallas where he lived and told me, “I am gay and please don’t tell me it’s a phase I’m going through. I’ve thought about this a great deal and I have gay friends and I know this is who I am.” My first response was, “Were you abused by someone in your childhood?” He assured me he had never been abused. I was totally ignorant when David told me he was gay. I didn’t think I knew a gay person, but he assured me that I did. This was the beginning of a journey for us to learn as much as we could about our son.
I started reading everything I could find to educate myself. Then in March 1999, I saw an announcement of a PFLAG conference that was being held at Washburn University. My husband and I went to the conference where we met the President and members of the local PFLAG group. They were so open and welcoming to us. What we learned that weekend cleared up many of our questions and fears. The Heartland Men’s Choir from KC sang that evening and I was shocked to see that many gay men in one place.
One of the speakers explained that we all know that there are males and females. But she explained that there are many variations in between.
There have been several things that have helped us with this journey. The Metropolitan Community Church has been a great support. Also, we went to Emporia and heard Mathew Shepherds mother talk about Mathew and his death. It was the beginning of a feeling that I needed to do what I could to stop homophobia. We also found a group of Catholic parents on the internet who have gay children (Fortunate Families). They publish a great newsletter.
We did go talk to our parish priest after reading one of the Phelps signs that said “God hates your gay children”. The priest was very kind and reassured us that God loves our son and that our job was to love and support him. Now we know that the Church does not always share that view, but on that day he was very reassuring to us. When we hear negative things from the official church, we just know that no church will ever come between us and our son. As our son has said, “I didn’t leave the Church, it left me.”
I have often been asked how I felt when I first heard that our son was gay. It was a feeling of grief and loss. Now those feelings have been replaced by pride that our son is honest with us and doesn’t live part of his life in secret. We are a part of his life and are very proud of him and his partner as they lead their lives as “family.” Not a traditional family but as we have learned from him there are many kinds of families.
We have met many gays who say to us, “I wish my parents would come to a PFLAG meeting and try to learn more about me.” We are proud that we have opened up our minds and educated ourselves.
From Rudy and Bonnie Cuevas
December 18, 2009
Our younger son came out to us in 1996 at the age of 18, just before he graduated from high school. Although it was difficult for us in the beginning, looking back, it was a very positive turning point in our relationship with our son. We knew that we loved our son and that he was the same person we had loved since he was born but, we realized that everything we previously believed about sexual orientation was wrong. As quickly as possible, we began reading and researching in order to understand and come to terms with this new information about our son but, we still felt totally isolated. We did not think we knew other people who had a gay child and that was a very lonely and depressing feeling.
When our son entered college at the University of Kansas, he encouraged us to attend PFLAG meetings that were being held in Lawrence, KS. We did not know what to expect would happen at the meetings so, we were very reluctant to attend. We did conquer our fear and attended a meeting. PFLAG, the wonderful parents and other people we have met through the organization, have changed our lives. With the help of the other PFLAG parents, we were able to find the support and education we needed to quickly come to an understanding of our son’s sexual orientation and to dispel the myths and stereotypes we grew up with. Now, our relationship with our gay son is stronger than ever. He is now in a committed relationship and we are thrilled that we can joyfully welcome a new member into our family.
In Topeka and NE Kansas, LGBTQ + people and those who love them are served by PFLAG Topeka. Connect on the web at pflagnekansas.org.
Through our members located in all 50 states, and through our National Office in Washington, DC, we support one another, educate the public, and advocate for equality. http://www.pflag.org
Our Vision
An equitable, inclusive world where every LGBTQ+ person is safe, celebrated, empowered, and loved.
Our Mission
To create a caring, just, and affirming world for LGBTQ+ people and those who love them.
OUR STORIES
From Sonja and Leroy Feist
February 13, 2010
We have 3 sons, one is married and has given us three grandchildren, one is heterosexual and single, and our youngest son, David, is gay. He graduated from KU with a degree in Human Biology, and then graduated from Baker University with a degree in Nursing. He works as an emergency room nurse in Bethesda, Maryland. David is very caring and I often thought about the wonderful girl I thought he would marry some day and the children he would have. I knew he would be a wonderful Dad. I was soon to learn that these were my fantasies, not his.
In December 1998 he came home from Dallas where he lived and told me, “I am gay and please don’t tell me it’s a phase I’m going through. I’ve thought about this a great deal and I have gay friends and I know this is who I am.” My first response was, “Were you abused by someone in your childhood?” He assured me he had never been abused. I was totally ignorant when David told me he was gay. I didn’t think I knew a gay person, but he assured me that I did. This was the beginning of a journey for us to learn as much as we could about our son.
I started reading everything I could find to educate myself. Then in March 1999, I saw an announcement of a PFLAG conference that was being held at Washburn University. My husband and I went to the conference where we met the President and members of the local PFLAG group. They were so open and welcoming to us. What we learned that weekend cleared up many of our questions and fears. The Heartland Men’s Choir from KC sang that evening and I was shocked to see that many gay men in one place.
One of the speakers explained that we all know that there are males and females. But she explained that there are many variations in between.
There have been several things that have helped us with this journey. The Metropolitan Community Church has been a great support. Also, we went to Emporia and heard Mathew Shepherds mother talk about Mathew and his death. It was the beginning of a feeling that I needed to do what I could to stop homophobia. We also found a group of Catholic parents on the internet who have gay children (Fortunate Families). They publish a great newsletter.
We did go talk to our parish priest after reading one of the Phelps signs that said “God hates your gay children”. The priest was very kind and reassured us that God loves our son and that our job was to love and support him. Now we know that the Church does not always share that view, but on that day he was very reassuring to us. When we hear negative things from the official church, we just know that no church will ever come between us and our son. As our son has said, “I didn’t leave the Church, it left me.”
I have often been asked how I felt when I first heard that our son was gay. It was a feeling of grief and loss. Now those feelings have been replaced by pride that our son is honest with us and doesn’t live part of his life in secret. We are a part of his life and are very proud of him and his partner as they lead their lives as “family.” Not a traditional family but as we have learned from him there are many kinds of families.
We have met many gays who say to us, “I wish my parents would come to a PFLAG meeting and try to learn more about me.” We are proud that we have opened up our minds and educated ourselves.
From Rudy and Bonnie Cuevas
December 18, 2009
Our younger son came out to us in 1996 at the age of 18, just before he graduated from high school. Although it was difficult for us in the beginning, looking back, it was a very positive turning point in our relationship with our son. We knew that we loved our son and that he was the same person we had loved since he was born but, we realized that everything we previously believed about sexual orientation was wrong. As quickly as possible, we began reading and researching in order to understand and come to terms with this new information about our son but, we still felt totally isolated. We did not think we knew other people who had a gay child and that was a very lonely and depressing feeling.
When our son entered college at the University of Kansas, he encouraged us to attend PFLAG meetings that were being held in Lawrence, KS. We did not know what to expect would happen at the meetings so, we were very reluctant to attend. We did conquer our fear and attended a meeting. PFLAG, the wonderful parents and other people we have met through the organization, have changed our lives. With the help of the other PFLAG parents, we were able to find the support and education we needed to quickly come to an understanding of our son’s sexual orientation and to dispel the myths and stereotypes we grew up with. Now, our relationship with our gay son is stronger than ever. He is now in a committed relationship and we are thrilled that we can joyfully welcome a new member into our family.